One of the sources of guilt for working mothers is always the amount of time spent with their children. As a full time working mother myself, I’ve always made it a point not to console myself per se, but to delve into the practical and psychological reasoning and how we can turn a disadvantage to our advantage.
In the realm of modernity we can’t limit ourselves to one title but we want to and need to have it all. Amidst this, how do we mothers replace the time not spent with our kids? The trick is in the quality and not the amount of time. When a mother works outside of the home, she has limited time to interact with her kids which is split into morning rush before school routine and evenings. Instead of focusing on the negative, decide to make each moment count.
Advantage 1: Less is more.
In the morning, share some words of motivation to kick start your kids’ day and tell them that you will reconvene when you have both finished your duties. Once you are back home from the office, disconnect from work and clear your mind to be able to dedicate the couple of hours left before bedtime. This means no emails, no calls or social media to be fully present, because kids pick up on whether or not you are fully concentrated with them. Ask about their day, listen to them, go over their studies, read to them and play a while before heading to bath time. This undivided attention makes the child feel like the center of your world and makes up for the hours of your absence.
Advantage 2: Space for sanity.
Having time apart keeps you sane and strengthens your bond with your children. Those few hours you have to yourself where you dedicate to your work or chatting with coworkers allows you a breathing space that would be impossible to have if you were available at home. When you stay in and have frequent contact, and because we are human and have different moods, chances are by the end of the day you won’t be mentally and emotionally available to give the attention they deserve because you will be drained and fretting throughout the day.
When it comes to spending time with your children, apply the rule of quality and make each moment count. This will strengthen your bond and you will learn to appreciate the little moments as your children grow, and you can make up for lost time over the weekend where you can plan several fun activities and road trips!
Maria Najem
Photo: csbeautyschools.com
