Once a woman becomes a mother her priorities shuffle. What she thought was the most important thing in her life is suddenly not so, and things she took for granted begin to make sense. One of the most dreaded questions a new mother must ask herself is whether or not she will return to work after her maternity leave, and if so, what is the proper care to be provided by a daycare or a private professional. Even more details begin to surface such as the budget for this alternate care, the logistics of daily life, the separation of the newborn and the mother, and so on so forth.
Let me tell you, there is no right answer.
There is an answer for each family, and this answer shifts as the months and years go by. A new mother who finds herself physically and emotionally capable of heading back to an 8 to 5 desk job may do so for all her career life. Another might be able to keep this up until her kids start to have homework and need more attention. A third might find daycare expenses too high and decide to stay home to tend to her children. Some may even decide not to return to work, and many are considering the option of either freelancing or starting a small business.
Throughout her work life, a mother will be asked and attacked, judged and blamed. She will never be able to please everyone (not that she should), and no matter what decision she takes there is always someone waiting for her at the corner to second guess her.
Why is being aware of these issues essential?
It is because we as mothers must realize that only we truly know what is best for our families and we do not need to prove ourselves to anyone or explain our decisions. One mother’s choice of staying home might be another’s nightmare just as the next mother’s commitment to work is someone else’s phobia. We cannot judge and we must not.
But if you mama, decide to go back to work, please know that no matter what your reasons are, whether financial or for self improvement and accomplishment, you can make it. It is hard but you can balance it all. Your baby will grow with care during the day and you will shower all the love on him when you reunite. And shall you decide to sacrifice your career to stay at home, then may you have the strength to be able to care and love day in day out.
Both of you, and by you I mean us all, will go through ups and downs, through phases where we question everything, when we aren’t sure if we are doing the right thing for our family. We have all been there, but in the end what counts is the smile on our children’s faces, and our own satisfaction as well.
What is the reason behind these thoughts?
It’s the fact that we should sometimes withdraw, look at the bigger picture and be grateful for what we have.
Maria Najem
Photo: stewardship.com
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