Never would I have thought that I would crave routine and safety until I became a mother. Like any mother I work, tend to my home, complete chores and finish errands and it is a cycle that begins but never ends. Even this mundane daily routine becomes something you look forward to because you know what to expect and how your days will look like. This safe cycle ends when your child gets sick. Now I won’t be tackling kids’ health and precautions and how tough it is for a child to have flu or infection but I will take a moment to focus on working mothers during this period.
We have all been there, where we are going about our day and get a call from daycare while at the office that our child is sick, or while picking up from school discover that there is a rise in temperature. While our primary concern is our kids and their recovery, we can’t help but refer to work during this period. As women we are always made to feel inferior in the workplace, like we need to work harder to prove ourselves, and although this is never obvious but it is hidden in the unconscious mind of employers and their subordinates. When you are a mother the attention is on you as to how you will handle your work load as well as the concerns of being a mother, as if someone is waiting for you around the corner to watch you fail. If you have that routine mentioned before then you know that each day will start and end the same and there is a comfort in knowing that the system works. But when a small disruption occurs, it becomes a battle between needing to be present at work, submit your dues on time and find an alternative caretaker for your children in the time of their absence from school or daycare. And if you cannot find that alternate you must take time off from work to stay home and tend to their needs and schedule doctor’s appointments if necessary, all the while feeling guilty about leaving the office. But the former alternative of staying at work also leaves you guilty because you aren’t at home with your kids to console them and dote upon them while they are sick.
What I have deduced from my years as a parent is that there will always be guilt, and disruption of routine is part of parenthood. I have scheduled and rescheduled meetings more than I can count, spent sleepless nights finishing tasks because I was with my flu ridden kids during the day, I have been sick because of all this overload with no time to rest. When I refer to myself in the first person I mean by it all mothers. There is no shame in feeling the need for routine and the annoyance when something gets in the way, just as it is completely normal to feel mom guilt that haunts us all.
Maria Najem
Photo: rand.org
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